Day 25 – Just the 7 Cognac’s and a small legendary line of “I haven’t raulphed in over 6 years!” – 27/6/12

Hungover to absolute shit, we all woke up to find that Stepan was wearing a random XL green t-shirt. Who’s t-shirt it was we didn’t know and never did find out, but if there is somebody walking around Lviv topless, Stepan sends his apologies.

Gay jokes and banter over as to who? where? and how he got that t-shirt, we headed out for more sightseeing of Lviv. We gave the brewery a miss as we woke up to late so it was a short tram ride to the outskirts of Lviv where we went to visit the famous Lychakiv cemetery. Getting off a stop too early, we walked past an UPA memorial which was also nice to see. At the cemetery we paid respect to many famous Ukrainians as well as some of the hero’s of UPA that fought for Ukraine.


Having seen the cemetery it was now time to head back into the main square where we decided to go on a mammoth walk up the city hall tower. Although it was a tough walk and tripping up on the stairs as well as seeing randoms tripping up too, this made us laugh on many occasions. Now at the top, we were treated to fantastic views of Lviv from the heart of the city. Customary photos taken and a small time to chill, we all had a little fright when the tower bell chimed. It was now time to start our decent and continue sightseeing. It was back to the church we were at from the previous day (Svyatoho Yura) as we didn’t go and see the tomb of Yosef Slipiy from yesterday.


Deep under the church were the tombs of famous Ukrainian priests, with the most notable one being Yosef Slipiy. A few moments of respect were paid, before we then headed to find some dinner. Sim Porosya was decided, a traditional Ukrainian restaurant where the vodka was soon flowing and wasn’t long before Anastasia and her friends came and joined us. In what was a pleasant meal and drinks, we were also treated to two Ukrainian musicians that also played traditional Ukrainian songs before moving onto ‘different’ versions of well known songs.

Stomachs lined, we dived back to the hostel to get changed as we had decided we would go clubbing. With Ewhen ready first, he went and waited outside. Stepan then ready came out, with Ewhen now hiding. Ewhen saw Stepan jumped out and screamed. Stepan ran a mile as Ewhen shit him up, before Ewhen then running 2 miles further when he heard a dog barking. We can only imagine what mess Ewhen made in his pants when he heard the dog bark, however the funny thing behind this was that the dog was the size of a gerbil.

Now at the fanzone, we got bored while watching the semi final between Spain Vs Portugal, so we decided to name our all time football XI’s.

Petro XI: Shovkovskyi, Luzhnyi, Holovko, Fedorov, Nesmachnyi, Husin, Tymoschuk, Nazarenko, Rebrov, Kosovskyi, Shevhcenko

Evhen XI: Schmeichel, Maldini, Cannavaro, Stam, Cafu, Keane, Gattuso, Scholes, Totti, C Ronaldo, Shearer

Andriy XI: Schmeichel, Cafu, Maldini, Cannavaro, Roberto Carlos, Makelele, C Ronaldo, Zidane, Beckham, Ronaldo, Shevchenko

Stepan XI: Schmeichel, Heinze, Vidic, Maldini, Roberto Carlos, Beckham, Gattuso, Makelele, C Ronaldo, Raul, Drogba

Petro 2nd XI: Buffon, Maldini, Nesta, Cannavaro, Makelele, Xavi, Zidane, C Ronaldo, Messi, Ronaldo, Shevchenko

Andriy’s family later joined us. Watching the football all together, with beers in their perfect positions (our hands) it was a nice moment for Andriy and his family, as well as us talking to them. After the game, Andriy’s family had invited him back to their house. Not wanting to go alone, Petro went with Andriy, whilst Ewhen and Stepan stayed in the main square.


Knowing we would both be drinking in our respective places, Ewhen and Stepan met up with Anastasia and her friends as well as what we remember to be a full table of about 15 people, but not entirely sure of who anybody was.

The double shots of vodka (Ewhen and Stepan) and cognacs (Andriy and Petro) were soon racking up respectively. The cognacs probably tasted sweeter as they were free, whilst Ewhen and Stepan were paying for theirs, albeit minimal cost and wasn’t long until we decided to take it one step further and buy a bottle.

Now well on the way, the drunken conversations turned to talking even more rubbish than we normally do. We somehow got onto the conversation of not being sick through drinking. Stepan’s track record is shocking, however confident as ever Ewhen said: “I haven’t been sick for 6 years.”

This ladies and gentlemen is possibly the quote of the trip, as a few shots later, Ewhen calmly turned his head to the side and raulphed next to the tree we were sitting to. Dr Raulphington’s 6 year wait was over and there was no coming back. It was at this point that after seven cognacs later and a fishy meal, Andriy and Petro were dropped off by Andriy’s family (who were also seven shots worse off). Andriy and Petro were both made aware of the good news and queue the none stop six year one liners.


Still planning on going out to a nightclub, Petro and Stepan randomly decided to swap clothes for some reason with Petro taking it one step further and taking his boxers off too. They were then grabbed and thrown onto the main street and Petro had to go and grab them.

Nightclubbing was now looking less and less likely and so ended up in Kryjivka once again. Just like the previous night the details become a little sparse from here on onwards. Sat at a table, there were more Canadians and this time Australian Ukrainians in the house which we joined in with some singing. Before we knew it the talented Dr Raulphington Ewhen now turned his talents to magic. Ewhen “Houdini” Chymera did a famous disappearing act and went to bed. Andriy and Petro soon followed suit with Stepan…..nobody knows what happened. It’s only since getting back from the trip and a few facebook messages later we found out that people were drawing on Stepans arms and he went on a walk of Lviv with Anastasia and her friends before ordering a burger and falling asleep at the counter.


With all the writing on his arms, the lady serving also felt the need to write more and so wrote the amount of change on his hand. God knows how any of us made it back, but we somehow did. Dobranich!


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